How Have Sex In A Hostel
Hostels are not known for having privacy. You will never be too far from another traveler. Normally not a bad thing, but it is when you want to have sex this can get rather annoying. Luckily for you, The Funny Backpacker will be giving you his expert advice from years of staying at hostels and working in them. I have constructed the best ways for having sex in a hostel and sex while staying in a hostel.
First a disclaimer: Just in case family read this article. I have not personally tried every way myself and will not be stating which or any that I have participated in.
If you are reading this list to seriously have sex in a hostel I suggest moving down the list, until you find the option that suits your needs. Sex in a hostel can be difficult and not fair on other guests, make sure you try something that doesn’t get you kicked out of the hostel and freak out others.
Play it safe (Not just talking about condoms)
Playing it safe when having sex in hostels in the best idea for all involved. I’m not just talking about the two (or more) in the act but other guests and staff in the hostel. These options will not leave you naked with a red face.
This is the easy option out of them all, You probably have already thought about it. Most hostels have private rooms, if not move on to a hotel for a night or two. The downside and the reason many don’t do this option is due to the fact sex is last minute and your backpacking you probably don’t have the money.
like nature intended. Sometimes your not in a city and this idea might work, go for a walk down the beach at night. Then boom you have a child, Always wear protection.
other places to walk off to;
- Just off the walking trail
- The bins at your local supermarket
- In front of the church
- The high street
What I really mean the best way of having sex outside is getting a cheap tent.
Risking it can lead to embarrassment, loss of accommodation and one hell of a funny story to tell your friends back home. But seriously you need to know the risks before you try any of these.
P.s I have to state I do not recommend any of these (just in case I want another job in a hostel)
Wait until a night your room is empty
This is an idea is normally favorite with couples that can wait. Not a good option if you are having a quick fling at a hostel as this plan may take days and may not even happen. If you are a couple in a 4-bed dorm there are chances that your dorm may have nights where it is just you two.
Couple of things to take into consideration. Late check-ins and hostel staff. Nothing worse than getting excited about having an empty room then you get a late check-in.
Locked toilets and bathrooms are good
This one is a risk of being kicked out of the hostel. A lot of hostels the Bathrooms are not mixed and being in the wrong bathroom could get you into some trouble… If you get Caught.
Best time to try this out would be late at night when others are not trying to use the toilet.
Laundry rooms and hideaways
There are probably parts of the hostels that are never used at times of the day/night, for example, Laundry rooms and rooftops. There might even be a dark corner somewhere. Scout these areas in preparation with even you go to a new hostel. the last thing you want to be doing is looking for these in the heat of the moment.
Things to look out for cameras and doors being locked at certain times.
Make R**e cage (sheets over the bottom bunk)
This one sounds dodgy as Fuck (see what I did there?) but a R**e cage is sheets over the bottom bunk. Giving you your own privacy. Doing this other backpackers will know what you are doing but especially when there is two in a bed. But they don’t have to watch.
Just a note if you’re going to do this make sure you have the top and bottom bunk on this bed. As there is nothing worse than trying to sleep and people are shaking the bed. Also keep the noise down, No one cares how big or tight it is!
Kinky, If not a little disturbing
These are for the people for don’t give a fuck while getting a fuck. At the wrong type of hostel these guaranteed to get you kicked out! But at the right hostel, no one will care, you will not be the only people doing it. just remember that before thinking these hostels are the best place ever.
Sex dorms (party hostel large dorms)
At some Party hostels, There are rooms that are counted as the sex dorms or shagger rooms. (imagine booking in there and not expecting it). These rooms are full of people having sex and not caring about it. Most likely not even on the right beds (hope you didn’t get a bottom bunk).
So when in Rome…
Just have fun trying to sleep.
Common area or kitchen
You need to have balls of steel for this one, Also it’s a little disturbing when you think about it. Imagine wake up and seeing someone cooking breakfast where your naked arse had been just hours beforehand. Sex in hostels is clean and you shouldn’t be doing it in the places that others hang out.
But if you do make sure there are no cameras and clean up afterward!
Get the others in the room involved
A room full of people and think it is weird to have sex in front of them all? Why not let them join in? Make a night of it. This is highly unlikely unless your hostel is the playboy mansion and your Hugh Hefner.
Saying this you’re all on holiday mode and there are weirder things that happen.
Thanks for reading
If you read this article and never been to a hostel, You need to read my article which is called Everything you need to know about hostels! This article will help you understand what a hostel is and how you can use hostels to help you travel!
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Don’t forget to smash it!