How to Keep The Romance When Travelling
The Amount of people who split up while traveling is unreal! But with the amount of pressure that is caused when traveling, the numbers to make sense. This article is for you if you are traveling as a couple and want to know how to stay together through the good and the bad!
When traveling as a couple and spending 24-7 with the other person you might think that you see enough of each other. But the question I ask you is, Do even have any alone time?Bro?There are many reasons why having alone sometimes feel impossible to achieve. It’s really really not! The biggest problem is when you guys forget that you haven’t had time alone in a while.
When I say alone time, I’m not trying to beat around the bush and talking about having sex. I Actually mean spending time away from people…Doing your own things! If are reading this to find out how to have sex while traveling check out how to have sex in a hostel, This will be more helpful. Keep reading if you want to improve your love life on the road!
The main reasons your relationship will fall apart on your travels is
- No Alone Time together (Not sexually but together time)
- Not having time by yourself
- Not battling the problems together
- Travel Relationship Jealousy
Why does it feel impossible to spend time together? (alone)
When you’re traveling together it does feel really hard to find the time and things to do together, here are the main reasons why and how to get over the problems;
People are always there (hostels, work, and travel)
When you travel you might find you end up working together, Living in and even traveling together. The main problem with this is the fact everywhere you go there are other people there too. You might go out to the pub, people from the hostel join. Go out for lunch with the workmates and travel with friends.
Of course, meeting people when traveling is one of the best things you can do. But spending with others as a couple doesn’t count as having alone time.
Sometimes you might have to say no to the pub with people from the hostel and go to a different bar with your other half!
No Money, to waste
Money is tight when traveling. Cutbacks are key for survival. But cutting back on your relationship is not where you can afford to do it. Being in each other’s pocket every day is stressful enough without making great memories as a couple!
Going into an 8 bedroom for a week or two moving out of a 4 bedroom won’t make too much difference to your life, but spending that money on a meal out together could be your favorite memory together.
Feels like you are always together so what’s the problem?
You work live and travel together… What is the problem with no alone time? You have sex in the toilet of the hostel, so you sort out each other’s needs. What’s up with all this romantic shit? Your traveling not on a honeymoon.
There is a reason why you went traveling together, I’m Pretty sure the dream wasn’t to hook up in a bathroom and go to work. Sometimes you need to switch it up! Otherwise, it won’t just be the holiday that bores them!
Spending time together but doing things alone
There is nothing worse than having nothing to talk about. If you’re unable to ask at the end of the day “how was your day?” two things probably occurred one you were with each all day. Two you did nothing special.
This is a sure way to kill any spark to your relationship, Spend all day together… But doing stuff alone like on your laptop writing blogs while the other watches Netflix with there headphones in. You tell yourself that you been spending time them, but this is a lie!
If you find yourselves in this situation there are many things you need to start doing.
- Realize you’re doing it
- Start doing things together (see heading below)
- Include them in your thing, For example, watch the TV show together.
- Don’t get stuck in a bad cycle!
Other ways to spend together, alone
Apart from doing stuff that you normally do with others, but instead of doing it together. You should really think about doing your own things, Things that you can talk about at the hostel and recommend to other couples to try. This might sound like grown up for you. But I’m not just talking going on wine tasting. Here is a list of things you can do together;
- A Trip to the beach
- Romantic sunset on a boat
- Long walk without direction
- A picnic
- Horse riding
- A Day trip (Look in your local information center)
- Seeing that town you keep going past on the train
- Just getting an Ice cream together
- Getting takeout and hiding in the hostel with Netflix on your phone
- Hiking a mountain
- Going out for breakfast
- Brewery tour
- Jet skiing
These can be anything but doing it together and having something to talk about as a couple is a great way to keep the conversation going when things were getting slow.
How often should try to do this?
As much as possible but do something alone together at least once a week Even if it is as simple as going down the road and getting an ice cream together.
Give each other space too
It’s funny I write a nearly whole article on how to be romantic with each by having couple time… Now I’m saying make sure you have time alone too, this may seem strange but I have my reasons.
Being all up in their grill all the time isn’t the way to keep things romantic ether. You might be spending a lot of time together when traveling but you need to remember to give the other person space.
Don’t take up the invitation to go down the pub with people from the hostel if you don’t want to go but your other half is. Let them head down there without you, you will have something to talk about and maybe next time you will want to go.
List of things you could do without the other person
- Go out with Work, Hostel or other travel friends
- Read a book
- Go for a walk
- Chill out in a cafe
To be fair you can do the list above which I mentioned to do as a couple but do it alone or do the things that other person wouldn’t like with your new found friends.
Remember its You 2 VS The problem
Things when traveling can be extremely hard at times, This can put stress on any good relationship. When I was traveling Australia with my other-half, Money and wanting to go home was the two biggest stresses for us as a couple. This is different for everyone, But you people need to remember it’s you as a team VS The problem!
Let me go into a bit more details about Taylor and I. When we traveled the problems that we faced, came up at least once a month (even sometimes daily). The main problem with us is I am more focused on travel, Where she sometimes missed her life at home. Taylor got homesick a lot more than me, Due to fact as well as having family at home she had her pets. We both struggled to agree on if travel was worth missing home.
My problem was I wanted to use travel to come home to something. What I mean by this is have a career, money saved up or a Life plan. I am stubborn that I will get it.
We had Know about these problems before we even left England, But when everything is happy, exciting and going well these problems don’t seem to be there. When leaving for travel it was easy for Taylor not to miss home, Easy for me to have faith in travel finding my future.
It was when the struggles of having no money, no job and struggling to work out where we were going next. The issues started coming out, I’ll problems seem to be fighting each other. I was more determinant not to go home to nothing and Taylor missed home more! This meant every struggle we had, caused us to be more stress, with the situation and each other.
How did we solve this problem?
Booked a flight home!
Sounds like giving up, But it wasn’t. The Flight was booked for nearly 4 months time, It was kind of an agreement that I had 4 months to sort out my life and Taylor has only 4 months left. Doing this seemed to solve I’ll problems right away.
I was happy because I felt this was enough time to focus on my problem and Taylor Was happy because she had a countdown to when she was getting home. This meant to see could spend more time doing great things and not worrying and stressing each other out.
How do you sort out the problems that your relationship faces?
Like every relationship compromising is key! Here is my step by step guide to the battle the problems together
- Work out your problems, talk about what is troubling you. This may sound simple but so many are scared to talk ( You might find the problems you have as a couple is due to you both have the same problem but trying to solve it alone)
- Put yourself in their shoes, Think if you had there problem what would you do.
- Try to help them. Another simple thing but sometimes you will think I can’t help them I have my own problems. This isn’t you 2 vs the problem
- Compromise and plan. Work out a plan of action and An escape plan. (escape plan is normally going home)
- Keep to the plan and your word. If it doesn’t fix it, Unless you can both agree on another plan… escape plan it is!
One of the biggest problems many couples face is jealousy
Jealousy is the biggest killer of all relationships and with travel, it’s the same but it magnified. Relationship jealousy is normally defined as one person getting paranoid that the other person is spending to much time with someone that fancy and might have (or be having a Romantic Relationship with). But Travel relationship jealousy, Is a much greater problem.
What is Travel Relationship Jealousy?
When one person in the relationship thinks the other person is having more fun than them while traveling and not including them. This is could be anything. Going out without them, Meeting new people, seeing things that they wanted to see, having experiences that they wanted to have…ETC Then on top of these they could be jealous of you talking to people that you might fancy!
You might be thinking, I’m not the jealous type this won’t affect me. Well, think of the thing you most want to do on your trip now imagine your other half doing it without you. It would hurt and you want to experience these things together!
The funny thing it does happen and normally not on purpose. There are many cases this could happen. Let me list a few to you.
- You are out with your new friends at the hostel, Your other half is working. then they decide to go that cool bar that you keep talking about with your other half.
- (This one that I did). You are working and you get given a free whale watching tour… something your other half wanted to do. You have to go with work colleges and leave out your other half.
- They go somewhere that sounds cool and you knew nothing about prior and you’re gutted you missed it.
It is possible to stop the travel relationship jealousy?
Yes but it’s not a simple task and sometimes your going to mess it up! Here are my top tips for avoiding travel relationship jealousy.
- Include them, Have your alone time but try to include them as much as possible.
- Avoid doing it without them if possible
- Realize that the 1st of doing something isn’t always the best ( For example the whale watching tour I went on, I didn’t see any whales)
- If you are the one doing it, make sure your up for going again… Even if its bad. (It might be fun for them)
- Do more together (alone) Less likely they will get pissed as you have done something cool just the other day.
- Talk about the experience and ask them if they still want to go.
- Realize, You don’t get to see everything
- Remember they didn’t do it without you on purpose
If you want to know more about relationship jealousy and how to get over check out this link
Thank you for reading
I hope you two have a great journey together and are able to stay together through the hard times and beat the odds!
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