You Will Break Up When You Travel!

Couples Break Up When Traveling – 101 Reasons Why

You Will Break Up When You Travel!

Are you fed up of hearing ” If you two go traveling, you’re probably break up”? I heard this so many times before backpacking Australia. When backpacking, people were shocked to hear that I and my partner were traveling together and we didn’t just meet in Australia. The matter of the fact is we got engaged when traveling.

I hear so often “I’m scared that we will break up if we go traveling, It’s probably best if we stay at home”, I have already wrote an in-depth article (which I link too at the end of this article). So now its time to destroy this rumor once and for all. Funny backpacker style.

I will be giving 101 reasons why people break up when traveling. Please note these are not serious and you should not let anyone put you off traveling. If you’re strong enough to last in your own country your strong, enough in a foreign country. Travel can make you a lot stronger as it’s you two Vs the Problem!

101 main reasons why couples break up when traveling

p.s some are rude, crude and dam right nasty. But all “real” things that will happen if you travel as a couple so beware, learn from these and adapt. Here are the 101 main reasons why two people break up when traveling;

When you travel as couple you will break up
  1. They are going traveling so they can meet up with there ex at the destination
  2. 9/10 times they are fucking the pilot before take-off
  3. When sleeping in 12 men rooms they will fuck everyone but you
  4. You will get into a fight at your departing airport over where to have breakfast
  5. They see sexy people like me. And break up just so they have a chance to smell my hair
  6. They swim out in the sea, see a shark… Then fall madly in love
  7. You start cross-dressing on the beach, they can’t take you for the real you
  8. They will decide to go all bear grills and realized your not gangster enough
  9. You get lost in a shop, while you are looking for them you, they get bored and fly to a different country
  10. You plan to meet at the destination but one turns up to Australia and the other Austria
  11. You start to fight the Hulk then Thor saves you and you two decide to get married instead
  12. One of you wants to go on a road trip and the other one would rather watch paint dry
  13. You sunbath get heat stroke and forget who they are.
  14. You go to the zoo and make one too many “your Mumma” jokes about the hippopotamuses
  15. You get a taste for Ben and Jerry, to the degree, they make you an honorary shareholder. This leads to you having “too much” cushion for the pushen and they leave you for a beach bodybuilder
  16. They get offered a job on space x and the distance apart would be too far
  17. You both have to stay at different hostels because there is only one room left in each hostel in the same city. Then after months of living apart, you forget they existed
  18. You both get drunk, Not worried about being in a new country and new people, harmlessly explore different hotel rooms
  19. When traveling you just realize you can’t stand them as you never spent more than 3 minutes alone before
  20. You farted, they died (sad story)
  21. You decide to become a blogger
  22. You take an Instagram photo, it goes viral. You become the biggest name in travel. You get fame mad and go all wolf of wall street.
  23. You go to the beach acting tough, seaweed touches your leg and you scream
  24. You’re not really dating anyone, Then your imaginary Girlfriend dumps you.
  25. You get that summer body you dreamt about but then realize she was only with you for you man boobs
  26. You go on a banana boat and realize that is the only size you now like between your legs
  27. They go for surfing lessons. The instructor is really hot, long lush hair, bleach blonde, great body. Then your other half sleeps with their nan
  28. You end up on a desert island with little to no food or water. You have to make the hardest choice you will ever make, do you leave them for Wilson?
  29. You decide to get a lock and put it on a bridge, You throw away the key in the sea. You say I will be yours until this padlock is taken off the bridge. The next day the captain sees the padlock and throws it off his ship. 
  30. You get confused and go traveling with her sister
  31. At the airport, customs takes away your dick growth serum
  32. You find a book on how to travel the world for under $10 a day, it doesn’t work so you email the author, they reply and you fall madly in love.
  33. They realize you’re a spy when your passport doesn’t match your face
  34. You haven’t even met yet, they catfish you and after 12 months you call it enough.
  35. You go to a non-english speaking country and they can speak to the locals, they start taking the piss out of you. When you try and tell them to leave your bladder alone they don’t understand
  36. Tom Cruise is filming the new top gun, they ask your partner to get in the plane, you never see them again
  37. You tell them the world is flat
  38. You go horse riding, while they go riding…cock
  39. They find food that is actually better than sex
  40. The heat makes you grow hair really fast so you deiced to go somewhere cooler and get mistaken as bigfoot and shot dead
  41. You think traveling would be the best time to try out swinging, You fall off and she laughs.
  42. They start to enjoy having sex in hostel rooms in front of people. That’s when you realize they have been cheating the whole time
  43. They actually enjoy farm work so they get residency and live out there days on the farm.
  44. You dislike travel
  45. You go to a night club, its so dark you end up mistaking her for the glory hole in the men’s toilet
  46. They get on a plane, you save money by walking
  47. You can’t stop taking in travel quotes but you don’t care because it’s not about the journey it’s about the destination
  48. You find this article so funny you, SHARE it on facebook and tell all your friends about it. Then you miss your flight.
  49. You go to a really kinky hotel room and you say how good it was here last time with her mum
  50. You go to visit family, then realize you’re related
  51. They say the funny backpacker is untalented. You agree so hard your head falls off
  52. You draw a cock on there back in suncream, They tell you your brothers is bigger
  53. You run out of money and fight over the flavor noodles you are having tonight
  54. You grow a man bun
  55. You played Wonderwall too many times on your guitar
  56. You had a guitar in general
  57. She left you for a traveler with money, they could afford packet rice
  58. They said you weren’t spiritual enough
  59. You were looking a hot girl on the beach, the girl came over slowly, took two deep breathes and said ” fuck off you pervert” .Your girlfriend left you as she agreed
  60. You end up working in a titty bar and your the biggest tit there
  61. You try and make it as a travel Vlogger and upload the wrong video
  62. They tell you, they want you to have the beach bum look after 4 nights sleeping on the beach they had enough
  63. Buy them the plane tickets, standard class for them, First for you
  64. First Mount Everest, next you mount dave the surfer
  65. You meet someone random at a hostel and have much more in common that someone you are traveling with
  66. You catch them wearing your clothes, On wash day
  67. They refuse to share the laundry machine fee with you
  68. They have too much money for traveling
  69. They won’t leave the hostel that smells like B.O and Sadness
  70. Even though you work at the same place, have the same friends, live in the same place, doing 99% of the same things. having exactly the same experience. They don’t feel the same way about the trip so you become divided
  71. You share a room with a toilet and realize they shit. The size of theier shit is bigger than yours
  72. They don’t want to spend time with you, as they have too many new friends that hang around forever
  73. They forget how not to speak to someone new, They keep asking you “where are you from and where are you going”
  74. You tell her you to love going down on Australian beaches and she mishears you
  75. When you tell her your rooting for her but she doesn’t appreciate you doing it in front of her
  76. When you call home to speak to your family and he asks to speak to your brother.
  77. They want to move to the country and actually get residency
  78. He says there is too much weigh in the car for the road trip so he leaves you
  79. You two go hiking and he gets stuck in a rock and after watching 127 hours get confused and cuts off your leg.
  80. You two go camping and he realizes its nothing like the movie ” brokeback mountain” so he gets bored and goes home
  81. You spend so much time with each other and realize 24 hours a day  isn’t enough time together, so it will never work
  82. They prefer 16 man hostel rooms over private rooms
  83. They ride an Elephant, They die of course
  84. A guy at the airport asks them to carry their suitcase for them through customs
  85. Before the trip, you asked them if they liked traveling, but they were really into fouls at basketball
  86. You get in the wrong bed at the wrong hostel
  87. They find a job, you don’t. so they wave to you when they make the way to work while you sleep on the streets
  88. As you never have seen them after dark .so you didn’t know they turned into an ogre even though you did rescue them from the highest room in the tallest towers which is guarded by a fire breathing dragon
  89. You fart on a road trip (they died) crashed the car, you died.
  90. You’re meant to be traveling but instead, you are reading number 90
  91. She didn’t know she was your girlfriend, as you met on the plane
  92. You were wearing your gimp suit. Shouting I’m ready for it now mistress, then you get kicked out of the hostel. she refused to know you
  93. You were having extremely loud sex in the hostel. She heard you
  94. You told her that you weren’t going to come, Her face said differently
  95. they didn’t find this list funny
  96. Before traveling you were the hottest thing to your girlfriend well until she met your sun
  97. They met a travel blogger that wasn’t a dick, and marry them
  98. You saw a photo and you carried it around like a poster in your room. You use the photo to train, grow your hair like, style yourself. your other half didn’t like who you were turning into
  99. You took a pill in Ibiza to show your girlfriend your cool. You died and end up homeless and drugs for losers.
  100. You have all your clothes packed, you get to the airport with girlfriend in hand, wait for your flight, get on the plane. Get off the plane. Get a taxi and head hotel unpacks with your girlfriend. put your shorts on, head to the beach. jump in the sea feel the water brushing up your face then you wake up and realize its just one of your many cats, your so alone and you cry.
  101. You were on holiday you saw a fish which was following a boat so you followed the boat with was following a shark. The shark was following a whale and the whale, whale you couldn’t swim so you drowned

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Funny Backpacker

A Comedy Travel Blogger/Vlogger that doesn’t take life too seriously.

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